Days where I just want to scream!!

So... this was the face that I got to look at all day yesterday. AWESOME!

Yesterday was not a good day. For some reason, nothing was clicking. H & I were not on the same page about anything. These were not days that I thought about when I decided to stay home. I didn't think about the bad days; days when I am not a good mother and felt like I was failing at my job. The tough days that no one talks about. 

H cried himself to sleep the night before and decided to wake up at 5:45 instead of his normal 6:15. I didn't enjoy that at all and waking up earlier than normal meant that my patience level was low to start the day with. 

I think that H is going through a growth spurt because he fell all day long and he did not handle it well.  The kid cries like he is dying every time he fall. There was one moment when he fell and his hand went into a clean toilet. The kid freaked out!! I feel bad but at that point I just had to laugh. After a morning of crying to see him freak out because his hand got wet was just funny. 

H has regressed on the potty training front. About once a day he tinkles in his underwear. I think that he is having trouble getting the underwear down in time because I always hear him tinkle in the potty and then come out with wet underwear. Yesterday, though, he tinkled in his underwear 3 times. I just don't know what to do. I don't want to constantly remind him to go to the bathroom because once he starts preschool (17 days!) I won't be there to remind him.

A has started this lovely high pitched scream/squeal whenever you put her down or leave the room and she isn't happy about it.  It is an incredibly intense scream and she seems to love to do it.  I know that she continues to do it because she gets a reaction but how can I not react in some way when the noises she makes sends nails to my brain. 

So, the kids have been testing me. I think that God just want to show me that I am not as patient as I had originally thought. 

Also, I got a call from my mom that my maternal grandmother is dying. She has been dealing with dementia for the last 10 years but yesterday she stopped eating and her extremities are turning blue. My maternal grandfather died 2 months ago so this is a really tough blow on my mom.  My mom says that Granny looks like a concentration camp survivor. 

So... I might be taking a few days off of the blog to help Mom do all that she needs to do with Granny. 

That is my life in a nutshell right now. What a complete rambling crazy post! But, that is where my head is at. The last week has just been trying and draining. I feel like I am completely losing control of everything and I am really not enjoying it. So, if you think about it, send prayers or happy thoughts my way.