Tuesday, July 16, 2013


Lets talk about the awesomeness that is Sharknado. Just a forewarning, spoilers ahead.

Sharknado (2013) Poster

I am a sucker for Syfy movies. I loved 2-Headed Shark Attack, Sharktopus,  and Triassic Attack to name a few. I love how B-movie they are. The acting is awful, the cinematography is the worst and the scripts were probably written by a 5 year old. I take that back. I think my 2 year old could write a better movie. That being said, the people at Syfy are geniuses to come up with the movie premises that they do.  They have great titles that make you want to watch the movie and once the movie starts you can't turn it off. 

My favorite thing to do on a rainy Saturday is to get a mixed beverage and sit down to a Syfy movie. 

Ok. So, Sharknado. It came on at 9 on Friday night. With 2 young kids who wake up at 6 am, I was not staying awake until 11 for this movie that I needed all my faculties to watch. So, we DVR'd it. Not only did we DVR it once, but there was a bad storm coming and I didn't want to miss a second, so we set the DVR for a second time just in case the power went out. 

So, Saturday night after the kids went to bed, we popped some popcorn, grabbed a beer and settled back to watch Sharknado

I was hooked from the opening scene. One second it is sunny and the next the actors are obviously on a green screen as everything has a weird gray tint to it. One of my favorite parts is when a shark takes a guy out in water that is ankle deep.... seriously, ankle deep and no one saw the shark coming. These sharks are crazy illusive. 

                                        The Adventures of the Keitzer Family

Then we have the scenery. One minute it is sunny and the waves are non-existent and the next minute everything is rainy and waves bigger than a house are coming at the actors. I know that there are breaks in storms but that is a little unbelievable. This scene change goes back and forth for about 10 minutes. It was almost laughable when Ian Ziering looks out the window and see sun and then 2 seconds later a shark is crashing through his bar window and trying to eat someone.  Is there a better start to the movie? I submit that there is not!

I don't want to give the whole movie away so we will just skip to the end because in my book, the beginning and the ending were the best parts of the movie. The actors inform us that the only way to stop the Sharknados is to blow up the tornado (this stops that warm and cold air from mixing). 
                                  The Adventures of the Keitzer Family
They take a helicopter up extremely close to the tornado (closer than normally would be advisable). They throw a bomb into the first 2 tornadoes and those dissipate right away.  When they are trying to dissipate the third tornado, a shark attaches itself to the helicopter and the lead female character falls out of the helicopter (didn't see that one coming). As she calls through the air, another shark comes along and just eats her right out of the air. Genius!

Cut to Ian Ziering successfully dissipating the third tornado. We can all breath a sign of relief. Except, now all the sharks are falling out of the sky!!!
                           Inventing 'Sharknado': Inside Syfy's Booming B-Movie Factory

Ian Ziering doesn't want to watch his daughter be eaten by a shark. To stop this, he grabs a chainsaw, revs the engine and pushes her out of the way. Here is what we see next:

                                 The Adventures of the Keitzer Family

Yep, Ian Ziering is about to chainsaw the heck out of a shark... however, the shark swallows him whole. Cue the tears and family crying. Syfy has officially killed off 2 lead characters in 10 minutes. Now comes the biggest shocker. As the shark lays dead on the ground, you see movement in the belly of the shark and a chainsaw kicking into action. Yep, Ian Ziering is sawing is way out of the belly of the shark. As he emerged, did it look like a baby coming out of a vagina to anyone else? It was an incredibly horrifying image and brought a lot of flashbacks to my kids births. Once the urge to vomit has passed, we see him climb back into the shark and pull out the female lead who was eaten when she fell out of the helicopter. You heard right.  Syfy did what soap operas have been doing for years, bringing people back to life. 

So, that is Sharknado in a nutshell. There is talk of a sequel which I can not wait for. Nothing makes me smile more and appreciate being an American more than these movies. 

I know that Syfy will be showing this moving over and over so if you haven't seen it, grab and adult beverage and sit back. The acting is horrible and the cinematography is awful but man, it doesn't get better than this movie. 

Hope you have a great Tuesday!


No comments:

Post a Comment

I love your comments, and try to reply to as soon as possible! Thank you very much.